Jonno

Losing Mum

Every day the numbers of people affected by Covid-19 is published but from the initial bewilderment and shock experienced almost a year ago most of us have become a little numb to the unbelievably sad numbers of people that have perished. Unfortunately my Mum was one of those just a couple of weeks ago.

She wasn’t any more or less important than any other person that passed away but she was exceptional in my eyes and still my Mum. The whole family have struggled to come to terms with her passing. I don’t want to go into any detail about what happened or how she was affected because that’s now completely irrelevant and I was in two minds about even writing a post as millions have died all around the world and it might seem a little self-indulgent.

However, I do want to say a few words about her even though she wouldn’t have liked all this attention at all. She was far happier looking after everyone and hovering in the background than sitting centre stage.

I love the line from the film Billy Elliot where the dance teacher tells Billy that his Mum sounded like an incredible person and Billy replied ‘Na, she was just me Mum‘.

Her last few years were clouded with the cruel fog of dementia so we are relieved that she has now escaped that and has had a lifetime of memories flooding back to her. And my long-departed Dad will have been patiently waiting in his ridiculous tartan trousers and spinning bow-tie to escort her to a badly-behaved fancy dress party somewhere. She missed him so much that it’s almost a joy that they are finally reunited after 30 years apart.

From being evacuated to Oxfordshire at the beginning of the Second World War through to getting a job in a big London bank at the age of 16, then falling for a floppy-haired messenger at work and getting married a couple of years later. Having three boys and giving them the happiest childhood ever, through to finally becoming a grandmother which is what she may have always been destined to become. A life full of caring and looking out for others was rewarded in a big loving family and more friends than you can imagine.

She didn’t skydive or swim with dolphins but she did dress up as a witch at halloween to scare the children, and she always had a huge bag of sweets hidden away wherever she happened to be. Offering never-ending cups of tea and more cake made her happier than anything and every house she lived in was always open to visitors. So many people absolutely adored her and she touched an awful lot of lives.

When my brothers and I were very young Mum would read us poems before bed. This was always her favourite and the one we fell asleep to;

Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed,
Droops on the little hands little gold head.
Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares!
Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

God bless Mummy. I know that’s right.
Wasn’t it fun in the bath to-night?
The cold’s so cold, and the hot’s so hot.
Oh! God bless Daddy – I quite forgot.

If I open my fingers a little bit more,
I can see Nanny’s dressing-gown on the door.
It’s a beautiful blue, but it hasn’t a hood.
Oh! God bless Nanny and make her good.

Mine has a hood, and I lie in bed,
And pull the hood right over my head,
And I shut my eyes, and I curl up small,
And nobody knows that I’m there at all.

Oh! Thank you, God, for a lovely day.
And what was the other I had to say?
I said “Bless Daddy,” so what can it be?
Oh! Now I remember it. God bless Me.

Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed,
Droops on the little hands little gold head.
Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares!
Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

I couldn’t have asked for a better Mum. She was always there for all of us and will be hugely missed. I’m not sure what will ever fill that big hole in my heart.

Night Night Mum. Sleep well.

64 comments

  7. Ohhhhh so sorry to hear of your lose Jonno. This post brought a tear to my eye because of the obvious love you had for her. I am sure your dad was waiting with open arms to give her a big hug! Sending prayers xoxo

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  9. There’s never a good time to say goodbye to a parent, hon, and she sounds like a wonderful mum. We have experienced funerals where people can’t get together to share the laughter and tears and it’s one of the crueler aspects of this virus. The big consolation is her being back with your Dad. I bet that bow tie is spinning happily 🙂 🙂 God bless!

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  12. I’m sorry to hear about your Mum but I agree it’s important to tell the stories to make the statistics human, so we remember behind those horrible statistics are so many families dealing with loss of a loved one. I’m glad you were able to write and share with us a celebration of your mother’s life.

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  14. I’m so sorry about your mum.

    I’m glad you decided to write this post… it would be a shame never to have been “introduced” to her. Sounds like she was a hoot. And your dad too. I hope they’re enjoying their reunion.

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  15. This is a beautiful tribute to your mum but I cannot bring myself to click like on it today. I was just thinking this morning about all the people we know who live in UK and USA and the fact that they all know someone who has died because of Covid. I’m so sorry that you have joined them in this awful way – sending love across the oceans.

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  22. I’m so, so sorry for your loss Jon. Your mum sounded like a much loved, lovely, caring lady, who will be very much missed. A beautiful tribute and a beautiful poem. Take care both ❤️❤️

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    • Thanks Liz, she was a lovely lady who touched so many lives. We all miss her and it’s so much worse that we can’t be together to support each other.

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  23. I’m sorry for your loss Jon. I hope you managed to see her. If not, all your memories of her will be a comfort to you in the future.

    Somewhere in time we will meet up again with our loved ones.

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  26. Beautifully written Jonno and brought a tear to my eye. It’s hard losing a mum no matter how old you are and your words speak volumes about how loved she was. may she rest in peace with your dad now. Take care x

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  27. I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your dear Mum. Reading your sweet words I can see she was a wonderful person who you loved dearly. I hope she and your Dad are now happily reunited, free of the constrains of aging. Please accept our sincere condolences. XO

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  28. So very sad and really sorry to read this news of losing your Mum and your bereavement Jon. My heart goes out to you. Please accept my sincere condolences to you and Jo and your family. Janice xx

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  29. So sorry to hear this Jon. Not good timing during the pandemic, but it sounds like your Mum had a very fulfilling life, with a big family around 🙂

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